


Did It Break Us? - Part 4

by LoveYourArtFriend



Series: Did It Break Us? [4]
Category: American (US) Actor RPF, Captain America - All Media Types, Chris Evans - Fandom, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Romance, Steve Rogers Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-29 01:30:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20073898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveYourArtFriend/pseuds/LoveYourArtFriend





	Did It Break Us? - Part 4

“Staying together is more important than how we stay together.”

“What are we giving up to do it?”

~~~~~~

A bomb hidden in a news van ripped through the UN building in Vienna. More than 70 people have been injured. At least twelve are dead including including Wakanda’s King T’Chaka. Officials have released a video of the suspect, identifying as James Buchanan Barnes, the Winter Soldier.

~~~~~~

“I can’t believe you did this,” you yelled, throwing your phone on the bed after witnessing the text to confirm a flight to New York that you did not purchase. “Would you please just talk to me,” you swallowed hard.

He was leaning against the wall, looking out the hotel balcony window at the London Eye. As he turned around and faced you, a darkness embedded his features and it shook you. Taking a step back, you suddenly feared him and there you both stood, speechless. Unfamiliar emotions were spilling out of both of you and neither of you knew how to clean up the mess.

“I can’t pull you into this. I’m going after Bucky and my actions will be consequential. You need to be safe,” he said, sternly, as he crossed his arms in front of his chest. “You saw what he did to me last time our paths crossed.”

“Right, and you were alone. If someone had your back, things might have been different. I have just as much invested in trying to find Bucky as you do.” Your eyes darted anger into his soul, somewhat changing his demeanor. “You made a decision without talking to me….and I’m right here,” your voice elevated enough to make you realize it was probably too loud. “I am your wife and your partner,” you gritted through your teeth. “You have to give me something more than just wanting me to be safe.” Steve took a step toward you, his face softening with apology as his hands reached out to hold you. “No!” You took a step back. “You can’t make it all better with a hug.” Steve’s look hardened again. “God, after everything we just went through! Even Natasha came, as a friend, to make sure we were okay and told us it was important to stay togeth……….” You inhaled sharply, flashing back to the conversation with her after the funeral…..the instant realization of what Steve was willing to give up. “You realize I don’t give a shit about the Accords,” you stated rather than asked.

“Those accords didn’t pertain to you anyway.”

“What?”

“You’re not an Aven……”

“Pardon me?” Your eyes widened in disbelief. “What the fuck has gotten into you?”

“I didn’t mean….,” he knew better than to question your language. He knew he truly pissed you off. “F/n, I’m sor……”

Turning, you grabbed your luggage and opened the door. “F/n, WAIT!” he blurted quite loudly as he went to grab your hand but you pulled away. The glare you shared heightened the tension in the room. It stifled you and Steve’s face was clearly distraught.

“Wait? Why? You don’t want me with you. I got it, loud and clear.”

You continued out the door to the elevator. Steve stood in silence as his brain flew into overdrive. He turned and lashed at his book that was sitting on the end of the bed, sending it flying across the room, losing its bookmark along the way.

As you waited for the elevator, you revelled in the aftermath of the conversation that just took place. The heightened violent emotions erupted too quickly between the two of you. What the Hell was all that? You couldn’t understand why he was so hurtful. Why didn’t he talk to you? Why did he do all this behind your back? The more you tried to figure it out, the angrier you became. You didn’t even realize you had made your way to the lobby and stepped off the elevator. 

Stopping in the middle of the lobby, looking lost, Sam noticed your unstable appearance. As he was about to get up from his chair, you started to walk again and dragged your luggage to the lobby door. Outside, you sat yourself down on top of your suitcase, propped your elbows on your knees and buried your forehead in your hands. It was a sight that Sam knew couldn’t have resulted from anything good.

“Damn,” he whispered to himself.

Moments later, Steve exited the elevator and connected his eyes with Sam. As he started walking toward him, he asked, “Did you see her?”

“She’s outside,” he pointed. “What the Hell happened?”

Steve spotted you at the curb. Your cab had arrived and you were ignoring the driver and violently tossing your luggage in the trunk before climbing in the back seat and slamming the door shut. Steve’s eyes stayed on you until the cab pulled away. He let out a sigh and replied to Sam, “I opened my big mouth.”

“Well, that’ll do it. What did you say, because whatever it was, I’ve never seen her like that.”

He turned toward Sam and said with the most regret he could muster, “I told her to go back home, that she wasn’t part of the team and I didn’t want her involved.”

Sam’s jaw dropped. “Say what?? You did not!”

“I did.”

“Why the Hell would you do that?” Sam was ready to rip Steve a new ass hole.

“She won’t be safe. The last time I came in contact with Bucky, he almost killed me, and now there’s the Accords. She’ll never sign them and I can’t have her risk her life. I booked her flight home and………”

“I do not know what’s gotten into you, Man, but you have one Hell of a wife and partner that you just let walk out that door,” Sam yelled at Steve. “This is her choice, too, you know. She damn-well _**is**_ part of this team…..back on active duty for ten months without complaint because you know why? She’s tough. She wants nothing more than to fight the good fight and to do that by your side. She’s been risking her life every step of the way and has been working her ass off since Sokovia.”

Steve’s head bowed toward the floor.

“Oh shit,” Sam came to the realization. “That’s it, isn’t it? Sokovia.”

“I grieved for her, Sam. It should have been me. I had only seconds to tell her I loved her before…..I watched that rock blow,” his voice cracked. “As it stands, we still lost something in the end.”

“Then why would you push her away? She got a second chance, Steve. She doesn’t see it as a setback. She used it to make herself stronger. Don’t screw with fate….you two were destined to be together...partners in every sense of the word.”

“If anything ever happened to her, because of Bucky…,” Steve’s voice continued to tremble.

“Hey, something could happen to any of us. We’re all in this together, remember?”

“I can’t lose her, Sam.”

“Well, you’ve got a funny way of showing it because I think you already did,” Sam said, sadly. He put his hand on Steve’s shoulder, “You _**need**_ to talk to her before she flies home.”

~~~~~~

Sitting at the gate, waiting to be called to board, your Facetime started to ring. You knew it would be Steve. You answered with a solemn, “Hi.”

“F/n, I’m so sorry. Please don't leave angry,” he begged. “I love you so much. Can you please try and see this from my perspective? I just,” he sighed, “I just don’t want to lose you.”

You glanced away as you couldn't even look him in the eyes. You sighed then whispered quite calmly, “I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but what you said was _**not**_ okay.” 

Sam had to turn his head to look out the window as it was too painful to witness. He still couldn’t escape hearing the conversation so he cursed Steve under his breath for starting this discussion in the cab on the way to the airport.

_‘Gate 21 now boarding Flight 714 to New York.’_

“F/n!”

“I have to go.” You were at an emotional loss. You cut your connection with Steve, turned to grab your luggage and headed toward the gate.

Sam looked at Steve and saw a broken man sitting beside him. He put his hand over his mouth, feeling in the pit of his stomach that Steve made a disastrous mistake and how there may not be a way to repair the damage.

~~~~~~

_“You look absolutely stunning.”_

_“And you are so handsome.”_

_He leaned in to kiss her cheek as they swayed to the music, her hand sliding up from his shoulder and into his hair. He smiled and whispered into her ear, “You know that drives me insane.”_

_“I know,” she smiled._

_“Champagne?” a waiter offered as he floated his way through the barrage of dancing couples. “It’s almost midnight,” he happily commented._

_“Thank you,” she released her hand from his hair to take a flute. She was pretty sure she heard a disappointed growl rise from his throat. “And I’ll take another to tame the beast,” she jested as she released his hand and took another flute, handing it to her hot and bothered man._

_And there they both stood, clinking the flutes together. _

_“Another year’s come and gone. I can’t wait to see what the next one holds for us.” He leaned forward and kissed her lips. She smiled as he pulled away. _

_‘Ten.’_

_‘Nine.’_

_‘Eight.’_

_‘Seven.’_

_“I love you so much,” he confessed._

_‘Six.’_

_“I love you, too.”_

_‘Five.’_

_“I want you,” he stated without breaking eye contact.._

_‘Four.’_

_She smiled and slightly blushed as he brought his forehead to hers._

_‘Three.’_

_“I want you to go home,” he demanded._

_‘Two.’_

_“What?” She pulled away in shock._

_‘One.’_

_‘Happy New Year!’_

_The crowd cheered and no one noticed the floor crumble beneath her. It gave way and she started to fall through. Her champagne flute flew from her hand as she clawed at him, trying to keep from dropping. He wouldn’t hold on to her, wouldn’t save her. He didn’t even try. She fell through the hole screaming, “Steeeeeeeeeeeve!” He stood above, watching her grow farther and farther away, her hands grasping for a savior._

~~~~~~

You snapped awake, breathing heavily and sweat glistening on your face. Your first instinct was to reach for Steve, but he wasn’t there, bed sheets cold and empty.

“Damn it!”

You sat up, pulled your hand through your hair to pull it from your face, leaned forward and took in a large sigh. “Fucking nightmare,” you stammered as you shook the thought from your brain. You rose to your feet and made your way to the bathroom. Passing the window, you peeked through the curtain and noticed the first rays of light. Dawn came too quickly to relieve your jet lag.

A knock came to your door which was odd for this early in the morning. Opening it and seeing Wanda stand there made you realize she felt your energy, your crazy nightmare again.

“I think we had a connection,” she smiled. “It’s been a while since I felt that from you. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I think so. I’m so sorry,” you whispered as your eyes started to water.

“He’s not here, is he?” You shook your head. “Tony got a text from him last night and was looking for you.”

“I just stayed out until I figured everyone went to bed.”

“Oh, Honey!” she put her hand on your arm.

“It’s okay, Wanda, we’ll be fine,” you clammed up, hoping she believed you….but figuring probably not….you didn’t even believe you.

~~~~~~

Vision and Wanda were preparing dinner, discussing the elephant in the compound, you and Steve. Wanda was stating, “….and she’s so sad. My heart breaks for her. After Lagos, Steve told me when it comes to Bucky, his mind trips back to the days when all he had was his best friend. His past is in his present. It’s like it still haunts him. Now there’s Vienna.” Just as she finished, you walked into the kitchen. “F/n, there you are. I have not seen you all day. How are you doing?” Wanda asked.

“I’m okay. Slept most of the morning away and just spent the afternoon in the gym,” you stated bluntly, reaching into the fridge for a water bottle. “Dinner smells wonderful.”

“F/n?” Vision looked toward you, perplexed.

“Yes?”

“You are normally a good natured person,” he commented. A smirk curled in the corner of your mouth. “It’s just…...you and Captain Rogers,” he spoke with concern.

“Vis! Now is not the time,” Wanda scolded. Your smile of curiosity turned into a look of forlorn. 

“Please forgive me, F/n. I have only concern for your well being.”

You had clenched your teeth to fight the negative emotions. “It’s okay, um, I’m okay. Thank you for being concerned,” you forced a lift to the corner of your mouth.

Tony came around the corner and into the kitchen, suddenly inhaling to fill his sense of smell with Wanda and Vision’s delicious cooking.

“Tony! Stay for dinner?” Wanda invited.

“Uh, probably not, um……”

Vision stopped what he was doing and studied Tony’s behaviour.

“Tony?” You cocked your head to the side, “What’s the matter?”

Tony inhaled sharply, “Steve, Sam and the King of Wakanda have all been arrested.” Your face fell and the color drained from your skin.

“Oh dear,” replied Vision.

“I’m leaving,” he paused and looked toward you, “and F/n, you should come with me.”

“No.”

“What? Why?”

~~~~~~

You took a large sigh as you sat at the conference table, a concerned Tony having dragged you in and sat across from you. It was many moments before anything was said so Tony broke the ice, “You’re too quiet and it’s pissing me off. Speak woman!” he smirked.

“I'm sorry, I'm just...thinking.”

“Well, that's exhausting. You never told me about London,” he tried to get you to open up a little.

“Oh, sorry,” you mumbled.

“I'm sure the funeral was beautiful.”

“It was.”

Now it was Tony’s turn to sigh. He lifted his phone from the table, hit a few buttons and tossed it your way to look at.

SR: Tony, please make sure F/n’s okay. I’ll explain later.

“So,” he looked at you with intent to know the truth. You looked at him, pure sadness in your eyes. “After you leave for a funeral in London with your husband, I get this text from him...discovering you’re back on American soil. I texted you last night and got nothing. You didn’t come home until late, went straight to your room and FRIDAY said you had a nightmare this morning.”

“Sorry, Dad! Were you spying on me?”

“Nope, FRIDAY was.”

“Jesus, Tony!”

“Steve’s text was pretty blunt and I needed to figure out where you were. FRIDAY located your phone so I knew you were close to home. What the Hell happened while you were gone?”

“He sent me home.”

“What?” Tony stated, loudly.

“We saw the UN bombing on the news and I went to pack my suitcase, thinking we were heading to Vienna. I received a text on my phone, a confirmation for a flight to New York.” Tony’s eyes were wide as saucers. “He didn’t even talk to me, didn’t ask me what I thought, nothing. He said the choices he was going to make would be consequential, which apparently has now happened. He wanted me safe…….his words, among others.”

“Among others?”

“It was just a heated conversation and things were said,” you shrugged.

“What did he say?” Tony persisted, knowing there was more.

“Don’t worry about it, Tony. It was fucked up and I probably heard wrong….I don’t know. Just drop it.”

“F/n! Don’t play this game with me. You and Steve are solid. I have NEVER seen an argument between you and right now, you’re sitting here….well, the fact that you’re sitting here isn’t right, but you’re also hurting.”

You clenched your jaw, trying to dam up your emotions but you were too late. A single tear eked from the corner of your eye and panic overtook your brain. “Damn it, Tony, I really….I shouldn’t be doing this.” You stood from your seat, “I don’t belong here. I’m not of any value. Maybe I should……..”

“F/N!! GOD DAMN IT!!!” He smacked his hand on the table, trying to get you to calm down. “Sit down! What the Hell? This isn’t like you. What do you mean you don’t belon………. Oh, shit!” He cocked his head and looked at you, hoping for non-verbal assurance that he just figured out the problem but you wouldn’t bring your eyes up to him. “Did he tell you…...Did he say…...He didn’t!!”

Your eyes finally glanced up to his saddened face and you nodded, ever so slightly. 

“Son of a bitch!”

~~~~~~

Thinking he had the perfect plan to change Steve’s mind, Tony waited to see him, hoping he’d sign the Accords. The conversation was going well until he used the wrong terminology and both became heated.

“So far, nothing's happened that can't be undone. If you sign, we can make the last twenty-four hours legit. Barnes gets transferred to an American psych center instead of a Wakandan prison.”

“I'm not saying it's impossible but there would have to be safeguards.”

“Sure. Once we put out the PR fire, those documents can be amended. I'd file a motion to have you and Wanda reinstated.”

“Wanda? What about Wanda?”

“She's fine. She's confined to the compound, currently.”

“Oh God, Tony! Every time! Every time I think you see things the right way…”

“What? It's a hundred acres with a lap pool. It's got a screening room. There's worse ways to protect people. Besides, she’s not alone. Vision is there and, oh yeah, her good friend, F/n Rogers.”

Steve inhaled, closed his eyes and tilted his head back. A combination of guilt and anger settled on his features.

“Listen,” Tony sighed, “a few years ago, I almost lost Pepper so I trashed all my suits. Then we had to mop up HYDRA and then Ultron. My fault. And then, and then, and then, I never stopped. Because the truth is I don't want to stop. Now, we’re on a break. I don't want to lose her. I thought maybe the Accords could split the difference. In her defense, I'm a handful. You and F/n? Rock solid. Well, until you went all ‘creepy soldier’ on her. Don’t walk the same path as me and Pepper.” 

“Hilarious, Tony. You giving me marriage advice. I don’t think so. What happened in London was me trying to protect her.”

“Well, while she’s being _**protected,**_” he stated sarcastically, “she’s working for me, trying to gather as much intel about Barnes and this lovely mess we’re in.”

“What? Leave her out of this, Stark.”

“It’s her choice, Steve,” Tony yelled, “and you never gave her that! She’s not one to sit back and do nothing. Sound familiar?”

“This is none of your business.”

“It sure as Hell _**is**_ my business. I took your text rather seriously and made sure she was okay. You know, it’s like pulling teeth to get anything out of her. You said some pretty harsh shit. F/n was part of this team long before you two got together and I’m telling you, Steve, as your wife, partner and my best friend, she is essential. Let’s fix this, make it right so you can go home. Kiss her and make up. Come on, Man, sign the Accords….please? We need you, Cap….we need you both.” 

Steve looked up and around, seemingly trying to make a choice. He looked up at the screen, seeing Bucky strapped in the holding pod and it angered him. Tony watched him start to pull his hands into fists.

“Don’t let Barnes cloud your judgement,” Tony voiced.

“Excuse me? Cloud my judgement?” Steve scoffed. “He didn’t bomb the UN, Tony. He’s being framed.”

“Hey, I’m just doing what has to be done, to stave off something worse.”

“You keep telling yourself that,” Steve glared back at Tony. He turned and left the office as he had heard enough. 

“God damn it,” Tony sighed in frustration. He took a moment to regain his composure and turned to watch Barnes on one of the control room screens.

Steve stood outside the office, arms crossed over his chest, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. “Damn it, what am I doing?”

~~~~~~

_She walked into the living area all sweaty and still panting._

_He looked at her somewhat confused. “I thought you were just going for a light walk?”_

_“Well, it started out like that but I was feeling really good so I started running.”_

_He stood quickly and approached her, “You mean you’ve been running for an hour?”_

_“Yeah, felt good,” she admitted, proudly._

_“This is only week five, don’t you think you’re rushing it?” he somewhat scolded._

_“I’m okay, really. I feel great.”_

_He ran his hands up and down her arms then down to her waist. “You’re not in any pain?”_

_“Honey, trust me, I feel great, please don’t worry.”_

_“Well, I’m supposed to worry. This is way to soon, in my opinion.”_

_“I guess I’m a quick healer,” she smirked._

_He looked in her eyes for a long moment. “You sure you’re okay?”_

_“I’m sure,” she put her hand on his cheek to reassure him._

_“Positive?” He started to lean toward her._

_“Positive,” she smiled._

_“Pinky swear?” he kissed her cheek and curled his pinky finger around hers._

_She burst out laughing, “Pinky swear.”_

_He took that as his cue and placed his lips over hers, softly, yet longingly. He brought her body close to his and she didn’t object. Reaching down, he scooped her up, carefully and walked down the hall to their room. Heading toward the bathroom, he set her down and turned the shower on. His stare was intense as he didn’t break it while he undressed her and then himself. They stepped into the shower and stood under the gentle stream, touching and kissing. He washed her body, exploring and feeling her skin as if it was the first time. She took in his gentle caresses, craving them for so long. The bathroom was starting to steam up as she rippled her fingers over his chest, up and across his shoulders. He kissed her constantly, trailing his lips down the side of her neck. Running her hands up into his hair produced the throaty growl from him that she loved to hear. He closed his eyes, revelling in her touch, then opened them and admitted, “You know that drives me insane.”_

_“I know,” she smiled._

_He gently picked her up, wrapped her legs around his torso and leaned into her against the shower tiles. “I love you so much,” he confessed. They made love for the first time in weeks…..for the first time since Sokovia._

~~~~~~

Steve snapped himself from his thoughts. “What have I done?”


End file.
